How To Bribe Politicians

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More money for the BBC?
More money for the BBC?

Mark Thompson, the BBC director general, yesterday warned the government it would have to provide more money for public service broadcasting if it wanted the system to survive in the digital age.

So there’s the service demanded. More money for Mark and his mates to spend as they see fit. But what’s the bribe on offer to get it?

He vowed to play a pivotal role in repairing the damaged relationship between media, public and politicians and outlined a range of plans to tackle the problem. They include:

· A burst of “creative energy” in its treatment of Westminster, Stormont, the Welsh assembly and local politics that would reinvent its coverage in the same way as drama had been overhauled with Doctor Who and Life on Mars.

· Allowing public figures “the space to lay out their ideas” and promising to resist “the thrill of the political chase”.

That is, more attention is to be paid to the burblings of politicians, more toothsome totty will be sat on sofas to chirrup along with and encourage the vote stealers to reveal their vacuity.

Put baldly, the offer is, give us more of other people’s money and we’ll stroke your egos.

Somewhat annoyingly, of course, it will work: no one ever lost a government handout by over-estimating the ego of a politician.

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